June 11, 2009
I’ve been out of the blogosphere for a while. That’s because the schoolwork needs to get done, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve been cranking out papers, reflections and answering essay questions.
One English course is done, another has started and a graduate education class ends on Monday with a couple of oral reports due along with unit plans, lesson plans and a 10-page reflection paper on my student observation. I’ve written more in the past five weeks than I did in the previous 20 years.
Also of note are some weird health issues I’m experiencing. I don’t know if they are real or imagined, the results of stress. I can only hope they are imagined.
Although I am doing well in class – it looks like I’ll bag two As in my first two courses, at worst and A and a B – I’m still not sold on the school aspect of this adventure. A lot of that comes from people saying there aren’t any jobs in education, either. I’ve been able to find some part-time ones, through. My special-education teacher-daughter hasn’t been able to find work in Pennsylvania, so that’s been adding to the anxiety level. We are confident she will find a teaching job within the next three months, however. At worst, she will be a sub for another year. That might be what awaits me as well.
Going back to school is difficult at age 52 – no doubt about it. It takes some getting used to. I’m accustomed to getting paid for working my ass off. Not in school – you pay them. Anyway, this is a tough road, and by necessity, I’ve learned to live day-by-day. There is no other way for survival, especially with the stress and guilt of quitting a job weighing on my shoulders.
Why does life have to be so damn serious? It doesn’t, I guess. We make it that way. I wish I could treat it lightly, as it should be treated; just go with the flow. The Blessed Wife is getting tired of the struggles, but follows every scowl with a smile.
Not to change subjects, I’m getting pissed off at the titans of industry and Obama – they’re using the “recession” as an excuse now just to fatten profits, lay off people and skimp on quality. This is the same raping of the middle class that Bush and Cheney carried on, but it’s being done now in a different guise. Who would have thought Obama would be laying waste to labor unions? Surprising.
Anyway, I think the “recession” is largely over, now it’s just corporate greed that’s been loosed on the nation once again. Some things never change.
So I will continue to soldier on in grad school and hope these bizarre health issues work themselves out. Wish me luck.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
See the seedlings grow
June 3, 2009
We saw Wayne Dyer, the noted author and self-help guru, on PBS the other night. He was touting his new book and CD, “Excuses Begone” and he seemed to be talking to me.
“It’s too difficult.”
“We can’t afford it.”
Those are some of the excuses people make not to pursue their dreams or make changes in their lives. Dyer refers to them as mind viruses, or "memes." They are products of the ego trying to undermine the desires of the real you. That faulty thinking makes you operate and make decisions out of fear.
Anyway, I’m starting to see my life transitioning from journalism to education as an occupation.
I am meeting tomorrow with the D’Youville College Learning Center staff to get the rubric for grading essays written by incoming students at orientation. I’ll be working those orientation sessions this summer. (The power of networking – Blessed Wife.)
Also, I accepted a six-week position starting July 6 as a teacher’s aide at a school for special-needs children. It’s a $9.75 an hour job, but it gets some education experience on my resume. I am pretty excited about it. It felt good filling out a W-2 form, to belong to some organization. I can hardly wait to get up in the morning, have a cup of joe and drive off to work. Ah, just like the good old days. I like the hours, too – 8 a.m. to 3:15 p.m. Also, I’ll be working with my son, who will be doing his second summer at the school. It was his talking about how rewarding his work was last summer that started me thinking about this journey. What better way to serve than to help kids with cerebral palsy, Down syndrome and behavioral disorders? (Again, the power of networking.)
I also heard from the headmistress of a private school in the Buffalo area who said she is looking forward to having me as a student observer, student teacher and substitute teacher in the coming academic year. I have to return her call. (I had left a message for her several days ago. I have a connection at the school – my lovely niece teaches there. Again, the power of networking.)
So, I’m starting to see some seedlings sprout where I had planted seeds. It’s not easy tilling the scorched earth of the workworld, but you have to stay at it – day after day – and not get discouraged or wallow in despair.
I’m starting to use daily visualization as a morale booster, and that seems to be really keeping my energy and spirits high. I also seem to be doing well in school. How refreshing, only good news to report!
I will be at home in the classroom. I see myself there, serving the needs of people – young and old – who could use my assistance.
In the words of Wayne Dyer: “How may I serve?”
We saw Wayne Dyer, the noted author and self-help guru, on PBS the other night. He was touting his new book and CD, “Excuses Begone” and he seemed to be talking to me.
“It’s too difficult.”
“We can’t afford it.”
Those are some of the excuses people make not to pursue their dreams or make changes in their lives. Dyer refers to them as mind viruses, or "memes." They are products of the ego trying to undermine the desires of the real you. That faulty thinking makes you operate and make decisions out of fear.
Anyway, I’m starting to see my life transitioning from journalism to education as an occupation.
I am meeting tomorrow with the D’Youville College Learning Center staff to get the rubric for grading essays written by incoming students at orientation. I’ll be working those orientation sessions this summer. (The power of networking – Blessed Wife.)
Also, I accepted a six-week position starting July 6 as a teacher’s aide at a school for special-needs children. It’s a $9.75 an hour job, but it gets some education experience on my resume. I am pretty excited about it. It felt good filling out a W-2 form, to belong to some organization. I can hardly wait to get up in the morning, have a cup of joe and drive off to work. Ah, just like the good old days. I like the hours, too – 8 a.m. to 3:15 p.m. Also, I’ll be working with my son, who will be doing his second summer at the school. It was his talking about how rewarding his work was last summer that started me thinking about this journey. What better way to serve than to help kids with cerebral palsy, Down syndrome and behavioral disorders? (Again, the power of networking.)
I also heard from the headmistress of a private school in the Buffalo area who said she is looking forward to having me as a student observer, student teacher and substitute teacher in the coming academic year. I have to return her call. (I had left a message for her several days ago. I have a connection at the school – my lovely niece teaches there. Again, the power of networking.)
So, I’m starting to see some seedlings sprout where I had planted seeds. It’s not easy tilling the scorched earth of the workworld, but you have to stay at it – day after day – and not get discouraged or wallow in despair.
I’m starting to use daily visualization as a morale booster, and that seems to be really keeping my energy and spirits high. I also seem to be doing well in school. How refreshing, only good news to report!
I will be at home in the classroom. I see myself there, serving the needs of people – young and old – who could use my assistance.
In the words of Wayne Dyer: “How may I serve?”
Monday, June 1, 2009
A touch of confidence
June 1, 2009
Sorry I’ve been away for a while, but the boy must have some time to play and to reflect without sharing with everyone. I can say that while I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for several days, I feel waves of self-confidence washing over me. Self-confidence was never lacking in my life prior to the past two months. But it took a small vacation.
After last week’s inspirational readings put renewed meaning in this adventure, I’ve been additionally buoyed by a rich discussion with my Vukote neighbors. And with sustained communication with the good Lord, or the Source, I feel like myself today.
As mentioned, my Vukote neighbors needed to sell their vacation home, and they never lost faith that they would. It was on the market for a couple of years. Well, two days ago, they received a bona fide offer to purchase their place, they said. They occasionally despaired, but their faith remained strong and the outcome worked in their favor – probably just in the nick of time, too. Their message to me is to stay strong, fearless and the pendulum will swing your way. Patience is a virtue, they advised.
Today I was back in the classroom at D’Youville. I learned how to do an academic unit plan and a lesson plan, and dashed off a unit plan with no problem. When the professor first dropped the assignment on me, I thought he was asking me to design a nuclear weapon. I felt the flutters in the chest and belly, but just settled down and immersed myself in the work. When I turned in the draft copy four hours laster, the professor complimented the work. He also returned my grade for my first “teaching” session two weeks ago – I got 5 out of 5 points. So the confidence is starting to grow.
Also, I have visualized the future and I know I will be employed. In fact, there will be several academic institutions vying for my skills. Richard D. Stanley, M. S. in Education.
Additionally, my travel story on Joshua Tree National Park appeared in The News yesterday, so I’m feeling pretty good about what I’m doing. I’m not sitting at a desk and computer all day, every weekday, especially during the summer. I’m writing, reading, learning. My life is being enriched.
It’s been two months to the day that I experience my first day of unemployment. It was a mental test to battle through those two months, but I did it. Today I felt like myself again, only knowing that I’m growing, getting smarter, more knowledgeable and am better able to understand the world.
I also know how to push fear out of my psyche – turn off the negative news media with its pervasive message of fear and despair. To replace fear with hope and light – move myself to a higher, faster energy level. The world is good. There are children and adults to help. I really enjoy being able to move about freely, exploring new frontiers.
What is that I feel circulating around the spiritual atmosphere of this house? The return of confidence, a friend who had become a spector, but is now finding form again. Welcome back, dude.
Sorry I’ve been away for a while, but the boy must have some time to play and to reflect without sharing with everyone. I can say that while I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for several days, I feel waves of self-confidence washing over me. Self-confidence was never lacking in my life prior to the past two months. But it took a small vacation.
After last week’s inspirational readings put renewed meaning in this adventure, I’ve been additionally buoyed by a rich discussion with my Vukote neighbors. And with sustained communication with the good Lord, or the Source, I feel like myself today.
As mentioned, my Vukote neighbors needed to sell their vacation home, and they never lost faith that they would. It was on the market for a couple of years. Well, two days ago, they received a bona fide offer to purchase their place, they said. They occasionally despaired, but their faith remained strong and the outcome worked in their favor – probably just in the nick of time, too. Their message to me is to stay strong, fearless and the pendulum will swing your way. Patience is a virtue, they advised.
Today I was back in the classroom at D’Youville. I learned how to do an academic unit plan and a lesson plan, and dashed off a unit plan with no problem. When the professor first dropped the assignment on me, I thought he was asking me to design a nuclear weapon. I felt the flutters in the chest and belly, but just settled down and immersed myself in the work. When I turned in the draft copy four hours laster, the professor complimented the work. He also returned my grade for my first “teaching” session two weeks ago – I got 5 out of 5 points. So the confidence is starting to grow.
Also, I have visualized the future and I know I will be employed. In fact, there will be several academic institutions vying for my skills. Richard D. Stanley, M. S. in Education.
Additionally, my travel story on Joshua Tree National Park appeared in The News yesterday, so I’m feeling pretty good about what I’m doing. I’m not sitting at a desk and computer all day, every weekday, especially during the summer. I’m writing, reading, learning. My life is being enriched.
It’s been two months to the day that I experience my first day of unemployment. It was a mental test to battle through those two months, but I did it. Today I felt like myself again, only knowing that I’m growing, getting smarter, more knowledgeable and am better able to understand the world.
I also know how to push fear out of my psyche – turn off the negative news media with its pervasive message of fear and despair. To replace fear with hope and light – move myself to a higher, faster energy level. The world is good. There are children and adults to help. I really enjoy being able to move about freely, exploring new frontiers.
What is that I feel circulating around the spiritual atmosphere of this house? The return of confidence, a friend who had become a spector, but is now finding form again. Welcome back, dude.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Stay on course
May 27, 2009
Today’s lesson comes from Wayne W. Dyer, noted author and self-help guru. I was rereading a part of his book, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life,” this morning when I came across this quote:
“Do not limit the view of yourself. … Do not resist the natural course of your life.”
For the first time in a couple of months, I felt some of the anxiety and discomfort dissolve as I digested those words. What those words mean to me is that the time had come in the grand scheme of the universe and in the realm of the Supreme Being, whoever that might be, that I embark on a new path in life. It means that I didn’t make a mistake by leaving my job. It means that destiny dictated that there are new plans ahead for me.
I was able to shed those nagging worries about the family future and approach the day with great confidence. I did my last student observation at Mill Middle School for my masters in education course. I started reading J.M. Coetzee for my English class. I did yard work. I talked to my kids. I applied for a few more jobs. I started thinking about my fall courses at D’Youville and doing more student observation in the autumn. (It won’t be long before grades start rolling in for the two courses I’m currently taking.)
Anyway, I’ll have to send Dyer an e-mail of thanks. “Do not resist the natural course of your life.” That comes from the Tao, 72nd verse.
What a great saying.
Stop fighting what is supposed to transpire in your life, it is telling me. Accept it. Enjoy it.
This should be a monster summer for me. I am in great health, have lots of money and lots of time to do what I want to do, whether it’s ride around in a boat on Chautauqua Lake, garden, or sit in the hot tub and soak down beers. I could also do more free-lance writing, read great books or go hiking somewhere.
Free to be – you and me.
Today’s lesson comes from Wayne W. Dyer, noted author and self-help guru. I was rereading a part of his book, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life,” this morning when I came across this quote:
“Do not limit the view of yourself. … Do not resist the natural course of your life.”
For the first time in a couple of months, I felt some of the anxiety and discomfort dissolve as I digested those words. What those words mean to me is that the time had come in the grand scheme of the universe and in the realm of the Supreme Being, whoever that might be, that I embark on a new path in life. It means that I didn’t make a mistake by leaving my job. It means that destiny dictated that there are new plans ahead for me.
I was able to shed those nagging worries about the family future and approach the day with great confidence. I did my last student observation at Mill Middle School for my masters in education course. I started reading J.M. Coetzee for my English class. I did yard work. I talked to my kids. I applied for a few more jobs. I started thinking about my fall courses at D’Youville and doing more student observation in the autumn. (It won’t be long before grades start rolling in for the two courses I’m currently taking.)
Anyway, I’ll have to send Dyer an e-mail of thanks. “Do not resist the natural course of your life.” That comes from the Tao, 72nd verse.
What a great saying.
Stop fighting what is supposed to transpire in your life, it is telling me. Accept it. Enjoy it.
This should be a monster summer for me. I am in great health, have lots of money and lots of time to do what I want to do, whether it’s ride around in a boat on Chautauqua Lake, garden, or sit in the hot tub and soak down beers. I could also do more free-lance writing, read great books or go hiking somewhere.
Free to be – you and me.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Prognosis: A broken web
May 26, 2009
I’m relaying this lesson to you third-hand, so I hope I get it right.
A Pennsylvania minister spoke about loss in one of my daughter’s special education classes tonight at Edinboro University. He likened loss to a strand breaking in a complex web. When one of the strands breaks, it weakens and collapses the entire web. My daughter called and spoke to the Blessed Wife, saying she thought that lesson applies to my situation.
By my leaving my longtime job to pursue different avenues in my life, one of the major supporting strands in my web – and that of the entire family – was snapped. That allowed other parts of the web to weaken and falter. Such is the case in my life – my sense of identity, my self-worth and my image as a breadwinner and mainstay of the family structure have been severely compromised.
The good news is that the web can be rebuilt and strengthened, the minister said. That is where I find myself these days, “powering through” the sense of loss (self-inflicted), undertaking a return to the classroom and dealing with the uncertainty of where I will be a year or so from now. (I hope to be like Rocky Balboa celebrating a major victory in my life.)
Witness the new and stimulating events in my life. I think I am excelling in my classes. I enjoyed an online chat (my second one ever) with my World Literature classmates tonight. I am reading good literature to which I would never have otherwise exposed myself. I am interacting with fellow students interested in learning.
I am attending classes in a university environment again. I am doing student observation in a middle school and am meeting scores of new and interesting people. I am interacting with kind neighbors who offered their help in getting me placed in a school.
I am free-lance writing, having finished a major piece for a major school of management magazine. The university sent a voucher to fill out for my honorarium, and the editor expressed satisfaction with the timeliness and quality of the article. My travel article on Joshua Tree National Park will appear in my former forum – the Buffalo News – this Sunday.
I am getting to know myself like never before, even though some of what I’m learning isn’t all that great. It should make me stronger in the long run, though.
Yes, the filaments of the web are getting stronger, but weaving them back together is a slow, painstaking -- and painful -- process. I have to keep at it because I’ve had to start from scratch. There is much rebuilding to be done.
Just keep the faith and continue to spin those nice tight threads. Then the web will be stronger than ever.
I’m relaying this lesson to you third-hand, so I hope I get it right.
A Pennsylvania minister spoke about loss in one of my daughter’s special education classes tonight at Edinboro University. He likened loss to a strand breaking in a complex web. When one of the strands breaks, it weakens and collapses the entire web. My daughter called and spoke to the Blessed Wife, saying she thought that lesson applies to my situation.
By my leaving my longtime job to pursue different avenues in my life, one of the major supporting strands in my web – and that of the entire family – was snapped. That allowed other parts of the web to weaken and falter. Such is the case in my life – my sense of identity, my self-worth and my image as a breadwinner and mainstay of the family structure have been severely compromised.
The good news is that the web can be rebuilt and strengthened, the minister said. That is where I find myself these days, “powering through” the sense of loss (self-inflicted), undertaking a return to the classroom and dealing with the uncertainty of where I will be a year or so from now. (I hope to be like Rocky Balboa celebrating a major victory in my life.)
Witness the new and stimulating events in my life. I think I am excelling in my classes. I enjoyed an online chat (my second one ever) with my World Literature classmates tonight. I am reading good literature to which I would never have otherwise exposed myself. I am interacting with fellow students interested in learning.
I am attending classes in a university environment again. I am doing student observation in a middle school and am meeting scores of new and interesting people. I am interacting with kind neighbors who offered their help in getting me placed in a school.
I am free-lance writing, having finished a major piece for a major school of management magazine. The university sent a voucher to fill out for my honorarium, and the editor expressed satisfaction with the timeliness and quality of the article. My travel article on Joshua Tree National Park will appear in my former forum – the Buffalo News – this Sunday.
I am getting to know myself like never before, even though some of what I’m learning isn’t all that great. It should make me stronger in the long run, though.
Yes, the filaments of the web are getting stronger, but weaving them back together is a slow, painstaking -- and painful -- process. I have to keep at it because I’ve had to start from scratch. There is much rebuilding to be done.
Just keep the faith and continue to spin those nice tight threads. Then the web will be stronger than ever.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Wonders of change
May 24, 2009
It’s a holiday weekend (although, without a job every day seems like Memorial Day), so there is some time to reflect. The Blessed Wife is busy tending to her rose garden under an overcast sky, and I’m inside the cottage doing a little homework. I'm reading "Persepolis" by Marjane Satrapi. "You're even sounding smarter every day," the Blessed Wife old me yesterday.
I continue to marvel at how my life has changed. I still feel anxious when someone starts to talk about their job. (You lucky son of a gun, I think to myself.) But I’m getting into some type of comfort zone. Instead of walking into the same building and seeing the same faces every day, it seems I am in different environments and talking to new people almost daily. From the D’Youville classroom to my student observation at Mill Middle School, I’m meeting new people every day. At home, I do my freelance work and study. It seems out of place, but I think I am adjusting. My family and friends continue to provide great support, and that is a major morale booster.
Chautauqua continues to offer a great escape, even though I’m not working and don't feel in need of an “escape.” There’s just a good vibe here. I equate Chautauqua with relaxation and fun. I must spend more time here this summer.
When we (myself and the Anderson clan) went to Southern Tier Brewery on Saturday, I met some Buffalo-area acquaintances who urged me to apply to the Buffalo School District as a substitute teacher this fall. I probably will.
I hear the sounds of laughter outside, so I feel the need to join in, so I will cut this entry short.
PS: I heard on the radio last night an expert saying that Americans of the future will have multiple careers in their lifetimes. I think the man’s name was Howard Bloom. He said Americans will be very career mobile and also geographically mobile. I think that is already happening, with the downturn in the auto industry and newspapers.
I am one of many.
Monday, May 18, 2009
They call me Mr. Chips
May 18, 2009
I stood in front of a classroom of my peers today and taught my first lesson – on the Five Ws of journalism (who, what, when, where and why). The professor, Dr. David Gorlewski, had instructed us to teach our first lesson on something we were familiar with, so I chose the obvious from Journalism 101. I did a fairly credible job in my 10 minutes at the head of the class. I felt like I was babbling wildly, stuttering and doing a fairly average job. (It's strange how your mind races when you speak publicly.) My classmates kindly told me afterward that I had performed admirably. I would assess my performance as OK, enough to get by in my first foray into teaching.
I later told the Blessed Wife that it was like an infant taking his first uncertain step, the first stride in a long and arduous journey. (The longest journey begins with the first step.) I am starting to make my way.
I also visited with the head of the D’Youville College Learning Center and could possibly do some work for her this summer reading essays written by incoming freshmen during Orientation Week. The Blessed Wife also was able to network for me and get a commitment for me to teach a couple of writing seminars at the college this fall for the a special population of multicultural students.
Things are starting to gel a little bit. My sister-in-law might get me into her school for special-needs youths as a teacher’s aide this summer or fall. I know people in the Williamsville School District who might be able to get me in there as a teacher’s aide as well. I need to get some education experience on my resume. As it now stands, it’s almost all newspaper experience. Plus, I'd like to work while I'm going to school. It would give me valuable experience. I'm not a big fan of unemployment benefits; it's like accepting public assistance, although everyone says you've paid into the unemployment fund for 30-some years, you might as well reap some benefits.
Also, the only luck I’ve had since leaving The News is through networking. A “headhunter” told me that last month. He advised against papering the town with resumes and answering classified ads for jobs. A worthless pursuit, he said. My advice for those who have quit their jobs or have been furloughed is to network. Especially in tough economic times, that seems to be the only way to open doors. Otherwise, it seems you can be smart and industrious and no one will even take a look at you.
So if you are a displaced worker who has stumbled on my blog, get to networking. It’s as clear and as simple as that.
For the first time in weeks, I’m mentally exhausted from a day of hard mental work (a good feeling). So I’m going to cut this entry short. I will keep reciting the mantra -- study, succeed, Masters, teach, success. My road is uphill but I think I will be able to make that climb. What a great feeling it will be to summit that mountaintop, and I will do it at some point next year.
I know there is so much I’ve omitted from these blogs. Hopefully I will improve with these efforts as well.
Today, I was a teacher for 10 minutes.
I stood in front of a classroom of my peers today and taught my first lesson – on the Five Ws of journalism (who, what, when, where and why). The professor, Dr. David Gorlewski, had instructed us to teach our first lesson on something we were familiar with, so I chose the obvious from Journalism 101. I did a fairly credible job in my 10 minutes at the head of the class. I felt like I was babbling wildly, stuttering and doing a fairly average job. (It's strange how your mind races when you speak publicly.) My classmates kindly told me afterward that I had performed admirably. I would assess my performance as OK, enough to get by in my first foray into teaching.
I later told the Blessed Wife that it was like an infant taking his first uncertain step, the first stride in a long and arduous journey. (The longest journey begins with the first step.) I am starting to make my way.
I also visited with the head of the D’Youville College Learning Center and could possibly do some work for her this summer reading essays written by incoming freshmen during Orientation Week. The Blessed Wife also was able to network for me and get a commitment for me to teach a couple of writing seminars at the college this fall for the a special population of multicultural students.
Things are starting to gel a little bit. My sister-in-law might get me into her school for special-needs youths as a teacher’s aide this summer or fall. I know people in the Williamsville School District who might be able to get me in there as a teacher’s aide as well. I need to get some education experience on my resume. As it now stands, it’s almost all newspaper experience. Plus, I'd like to work while I'm going to school. It would give me valuable experience. I'm not a big fan of unemployment benefits; it's like accepting public assistance, although everyone says you've paid into the unemployment fund for 30-some years, you might as well reap some benefits.
Also, the only luck I’ve had since leaving The News is through networking. A “headhunter” told me that last month. He advised against papering the town with resumes and answering classified ads for jobs. A worthless pursuit, he said. My advice for those who have quit their jobs or have been furloughed is to network. Especially in tough economic times, that seems to be the only way to open doors. Otherwise, it seems you can be smart and industrious and no one will even take a look at you.
So if you are a displaced worker who has stumbled on my blog, get to networking. It’s as clear and as simple as that.
For the first time in weeks, I’m mentally exhausted from a day of hard mental work (a good feeling). So I’m going to cut this entry short. I will keep reciting the mantra -- study, succeed, Masters, teach, success. My road is uphill but I think I will be able to make that climb. What a great feeling it will be to summit that mountaintop, and I will do it at some point next year.
I know there is so much I’ve omitted from these blogs. Hopefully I will improve with these efforts as well.
Today, I was a teacher for 10 minutes.
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